This won't be long. It's 3 am and I have to document this feeling. I was feeling really really alone today, and I saw a little of how I do it to myself. I am always thinking about transitioning, and choosing to come out here first gave me the space I needed to get myself together, but now that a couple of months have gone by since I opened my mouth about it, I'm wishing I was with those who hold my history and are so much of my present. I almost spent loads of money to come home a week early. I don't care about how I connect or share things with people here as much as I care about everyone else. But "one is silver and the other's gold", I guess. I am really overwhelmed with the support I've gotten from so many people at home. Every home. I'm also feeling so much closer to them, and to everything. I want to let everything be seen. The spacer between me and everything else fell out and I feel alive. And I feel happy to be alive. I'm writing this now because I know I will have a few more rough patches, things will sometimes be tough, but I have to recognize for myself that I sometimes feel this way.